In most cases fear of change stops us from
taking action. And generally it works with anxiety, self-doubt and guilt to
help it do this.
Anxiety: While
some anxiety is useful and can motivate us there are times when anxiety about
something new can severely limit us; especially if there's uncertainty about
the future.
High levels of anxiety are often brought about
by
- rumors
about change,
- self
doubt,
- uncertainty,
- disregard
for values
This can be crippling.
Identifying and addressing these issues as they
affect you or others can reduce anxiety.
Often a good reality check can be very helpful
too. Making time to find out if the rumors are true might relieve a lot of
unnecessary anxiety, for example.
Anxiety
and Fear of Change work together.
Anxiety stops us taking action in our lives and
makes us resist change by stirring up fears of what is not known. Often certainty
is more comfortable than uncertainty. The anxiety underlying our fear of change
leads to other more specific fears that support a resistance to change. You
might recognize these examples:
- Fear
of the unknown:
uncertainty about the future, especially if you are expected to take a
'leap of faith' or do not have sufficient information, can result in
anxiety.
- Fear
of failure:
tied closely to the need for perfection this fear
promotes anxiety about not getting things right. It makes sense that the
best way to avoid the pain of failing is not to do anything at all.
Yet failure is the only way
to succeed. Think of Edison's failed light bulbs before the one that worked.
Successful business owners have a list of failed attempts behind them. It's the
way we learn. John Maxwell calls it 'Failing Forward' - a useful read to
challenge your attitude towards failure.
- Fear
of success:
Marianne Williamson's words, often incorrectly attributed to Nelson
Mandela:"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest
fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our
darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be
brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?" It's as if we don't
believe we deserve success.
Concerns about the meaning
of success; leads to anxiety. We have beliefs about what successful people are
like, and our fear is that we might become like them if we are successful. We
believe that we might lose friends or exploit others, for example. To reduce
the anxiety of this fear of change means that now more than ever we need to
know our values and remain true to them.
- Fear
of loss:
loss is often associated with change. Change can mean that we lose
colleagues, our salary, or even our parking space! Less evident but
equally devastating can be the loss of known routines or the things that
define who we are (like a job title, or a position).
- Fear
of upsetting others: life coaches are taught to
explore the impact of change on other people close to their client. This
is because change can have a ripple effect on others. Of course, this can
be positive. But the fear of upsetting others can cause enough anxiety to
severely limit what we do. I've known clients who have refused promotions
rather than deal with ill feelings from colleagues.
- Fear of leaving a comfort zone: like it or not we are creatures of habit. We like our routines and don't like to be faced with uncertainty. But staying in a comfort zone can be detrimental, as one of the characters in 'Who Moved My Cheese?' discovered (I love the lessons about change in this book and recommend it to everyone).
Self-doubt: Self-doubt
usually expresses itself in phrases like "I'm...not good enough",
"...not clever enough", "...not qualified enough", or
"I'm stupid".
Not only do we start believing this about
ourselves but we fear that others might discover just how hopeless we really
are. Resistance to change becomes a natural option in order to prevent this
from happening.
Putting ourselves down in this way stems from a
lack of confidence and a fear of change that stops us taking any action. It
literally stops us getting ahead in life.
Building self-esteem and self-confidence can
counter the effects of anxiety and eliminate fear of change.
Guilt: people
that regularly put others' needs ahead of their own are likely to experience
guilt if they feel the change they need to make will affect others.
Guilt effectively creates a fear of change in
two ways: it makes us feel bad that we're putting our own needs ahead of other
people's needs, and then it makes us feel bad because we don't take any action.
You can't win!
You'll hear guilt in action in the words people
use. They use the words "should", "must", and "have
to" often. So they'll say, "I really should do
xyz", or "I have to attend the meeting". Maybe
you do this?
There's a lovely story Stephen Covey tells
in his 7 Habits CD set about a young man who came to excuse himself from a
lecture. When Covey asked why he couldn't attend the lecture the student
answered "it's because I have to attend tennis training" (or some
similar reason).
Stephen Covey asked him what would happen if he
didn't go to tennis training and the student said he'd be dropped from the
team. "So you choose to
go to tennis training rather than attend my lecture", observed Covey.
Stephen Covey makes the point that we need to be
aware of our language, and change our "I have to's" into "I
choose to", or our "I should's" into "I want to" or
"I would like to...”
While resistance to change is not abnormal,
understanding people's natural fear of change can help in your planning and
change management strategy.
